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Four Tips For Mid Life Daters

Updated: Mar 18, 2021

Are you a mid-life person who wants to date? At your age, are you starting to feel obsolete? When you go out to meet other singles, do you feel like people look right past you, as though you are invisible? If you are over 35, out looking to meet someone at the popular watering holes, you may find that you come home depressed, or at least...that someone has let the air out of your tires. Here is the list of Tips for Dating When You're Over 35: Tip #1: Stay away from crowds where the majority of people are young. If you are over 35- and definitely, if you are over 40-going to popular night spots can be a big downer. You are "competing"- when you shouldn't be - with women who are much younger. It doesn't matter how young you look, after a night out at the "happening" places, you are going to feel old. Don't do this to yourself. Solution: Ask yourself what you want. Most of the time, guys in bars are cruising. Do you want a cruiser? Or do you want a relationship? Find different venues to socialize in. You want to be in groups more aligned with your age and interests. Tip #2: Be selective about the people you are with. If you want to make yourself feel really bad, hang out with a guy who looks past you and into the mirror as you're having a conversation. Nothing could make you feel more invisible. There's also another kind of behavior to watch out for. You don't want to be with a person who is looking around the room for someone younger or famous or rich, while they're talking to you. Solution: You may ask, "Why do people act this way?" However, that is not the core of your problem. The issue is, why do you want to go out with someone who acts this way? The first thing you need to know is that there are lots of lovely people who are single who would love to meet you. With a little effort on your part, you could find each other. Tip #3: Become a date detective. Finding where the good ones are takes focus, determination and smarts. You can do it. If you go out to the popular nightspots and you feel invisible, that is NOT an indication that you should give up, or there's no one out there, or that something is wrong with you. It does mean that you are not only looking in the wrong places, you are being unkind to yourself. Solution: Try different ways to meet people. Talk to friends about whether they know any eligible singles. Show up where you have lots of choices to pursue the opposite sex, like fashion, home decorating or cooking classes, where you are likely to find women, and trade shows in technology or the sciences for men. Come on-get inventive and get out there! Rule #4: Be kind and friendly. A recent poll revealed why men never call back, or, why women won't take a man's call. Why won't they? It has little to do with looks, age, or even status. Here's the big surprise: it has to do with NEGATIVITY. People shy away from someone who talks like a victim. Solution: When you meet others, or you are on a first date, never ever complain, blame, or badmouth people. This will send a potential date running in the opposite direction. Do you want to be seen and not fade into oblivion? To be heard, you must listen; to be appreciated, you need to care about others-as well as treat yourself well.

Visit for more tips, skills, and insight on dating, relationships, singles, and love. Copyright 2020, Tonja Weimer.

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